Many languages mark formality with a special form of “you” (usted, vous, Sie) or with verb endings. English uses “you” for everyone, so formality shows up in other ways: vocabulary, contractions and how you ask for things.
Side by side
| Formal | Neutral / informal | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| purchase | buy | to buy |
| request | ask for | to ask for |
| assist | help | to help |
| inquire | ask | to ask |
| obtain | get | to get |
| commence | start | to start |
| sufficient | enough | enough |
| investigate | look into | to examine |
| postpone | put off | to delay |
| I am unable to | I can’t | I cannot |
Formal words tend to come from Latin and French, while informal ones are short, Germanic or phrasal verbs.
Requests: from most formal to most direct
- “Would you mind sending me the file?”
- “Could you please send me the file?”
- “Can you send me the file?”
- “Send me the file, please.”
At work, options 2 and 3 are the most common.
Contractions
“I am not able to attend” is quite formal. “I’m not able to make it” or “I can’t make it” is the normal tone for conversation and emails between colleagues.
When to use each tone
| Situation | Tone |
|---|---|
| Official letter, contract, academic paper | Formal |
| Email to a client you do not know | Neutral, slightly formal |
| Emails and messages between colleagues | Neutral and friendly |
| Talking with friends | Informal |
Common learner mistakes
- Too formal for everyday use: “Dear colleague, I hereby inform you…” in a chat message sounds robotic.
- Slang in the wrong place: “Yo, what’s up, gimme the report” to a client.
- Translating politeness word for word: instead of “I would like to ask you if it would be possible…”, say “Could you…?”.
Where to learn the tones
TV shows show both sides: characters talking to their boss, to clients and to friends. Notice how the same person changes vocabulary depending on the situation. In Telidioma, each word’s card shows its meaning in the context of the line, which helps you notice when a common word takes on an informal meaning. For the written side, see how to write an email in English.
Frequently asked questions
Does English have formal forms of “you”?
No. “You” works for everyone. Formality shows up in vocabulary, contractions and the way you make requests, plus titles like “Mr.” and “Ms.”.
Is it rude to be informal at work?
At most companies, a neutral, friendly tone is expected. Too formal can sound cold; too informal, with slang, can sound unprofessional.
Are phrasal verbs informal?
Many are more common in speech and informal writing, but plenty are neutral and appear even in work documents, like “set up”, “follow up” and “find out”.